25 Manners Every Kid Should Know by Age 9!

My sister sent this list to me (maybe she was hinting!).  She has two children of her own, age 3 and 8 and is working hard, as we all are, on improving manners and trying to get her kids to remember the basics at least!   My kids are age 11 and 5.  They do pretty well with their please and thank you without too much reminding (actually better when they are away from home and with friends which is good to hear).   But there are more than a few on this list that we need to work on.

My son has one very good friend who has impeccable manners.  When he arrives at our house he always says hello and asks how I am.  He is happy to stand and chat for a few minutes about whatever I may ask him.  He never misses a please or thank you or goodbye.  He always checks with me before doing something new.  There is another friend of my son, that leaves the front door open every time, never says hello, never says please or thank you without some prompting and is generally very poor in the manners department.  It's a stark contrast.

"Manners Maketh Man" so goes the quotation.

So, here's the list of Parents.com suggestions on what manners a child of 9 should be aware of.

• When asking for something, say "Please." 

• When receiving something, say "Thank you." 

• Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.  (Why do my kids always want my attention when I am talking on the telephone!?)

• If you do need to get somebody's attention right away, the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation. 

• When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later. 

• The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults. 

• Do not comment on other people's physical characteristics unless, of course, it's to compliment them, which is always welcome. 

• When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are. 

• When you have spent time at your friend's house, remember to thank his or her parents for having you over and for the good time you had. 

• Knock on closed doors -- and wait to see if there's a response -- before entering. 

• When you make a phone call, introduce yourself first and then ask if you can speak with the person you are calling. 

• Be appreciative and say "thank you" for any gift you receive. In the age of e-mail, a handwritten thank-you note can have a powerful effect. 

• Never use foul language in front of adults. Grown-ups already know all those words, and they find them boring and unpleasant. (I must remember to say how 'boring and unpleasant' bad language is when my 11 year old throws out something in a fit or rage!)

• Don't call people mean names. 

• Do not make fun of anyone for any reason. Teasing shows others you are weak, and ganging up on someone else is cruel. 

• Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.  (We've all been in this situation on occasion and struggled to stay awake!)

• If you bump into somebody, immediately say "Excuse me." 

• Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don't pick your nose in public. 

• As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else. 

• If you come across a parent, a teacher, or a neighbor working on something, ask if you can help. If they say "yes," do so -- you may learn something new. 

• When an adult asks you for a favor, do it without grumbling and with a smile. 

• When someone helps you, say "thank you." That person will likely want to help you again. This is especially true with teachers! 

• Use eating utensils properly. If you are unsure how to do so, ask your parents to teach you or watch what adults do.

• Keep a napkin on your lap; use it to wipe your mouth when necessary.  (And don't wipe you hands 'secretly' on your trousers under the table!)

• Don't reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed.

I would add that good behavior at the table generally is mportant.  This can be so trying right now with my own kids.  They may be playing quietly and nicely, but as soon as they asked to sit down for dinner they start acting up, egging each other on, playing the clown!  Aaahhh!

How do you think your kids are doing?  Would you add or change any of the above?  Are you working on different 'manners' that you feel are important too?

santa - a non-believer in the house

The Santa bubble for my son has burst!  At 11 he no longer believes.  He has questioned and doubted for a couple of years, maybe longer, but possibly didn't want to disbelieve incase the gifts stopped coming!  In the past he has asked "Is Santa real?".  We've responded with "What do you think?".

But now we've had the chat.  Us honestly answering his rhetorical question "It's you, isn't it?"

"So it is you that eats the cookies and carrots and drinks the milk!"   Surprise!!!

We talked about how much we loved building the magic and fantasy of Santa flying the world over  delivering presents to children from his enormous sack on his magnificent sleigh.  How he had loved to hear the stories of Christmas elves and reindeers with red noses, of Santa's belly that shook like a bowl full of jelly!  The letters he had sent to the North Pole.  The sleigh bells he was so sure he could hear on Christmas Eve.  How we all loved the excitement and imagination that goes with believing in Santa. Putting your hopes and wishes in someone you want to believe in.

I could feel a little tear in my eyes as we talked to each other about the magic and delight of the past years at Christmas for him.  How he too would do the same for his children one day, just like our parents had done for us.  My father had climbed up in to our attic one Christmas and jingled the bells gently so that we would quickly snuggle in bed and not be awake when Santa arrived - he was obviously close by!  That we would continue will all the traditions we have built as a family around Christmas time. Nothing would change.

He wasn't upset.  He didn't ask why we had 'lied' to him or tricked him.  He had come to his own conclusion over time and possibly feels quite 'grown up' being in on the secret of Santa now.  It's a good time to 'come clean' as I didn't want him to get in an embarrasing situation with friends who may also be in the know.

He was reassured that he would still receive his stash of goodies but that he'd now know that mum and dad are really those elves doing the hours of browsing, shopping, spending and wrapping and we loved to do it for him and his sister.

And then we also gave a stern "Do not tell your 5 year old sister" warning!

H A P P Y   H O L I D A Y S

screen free for 5 days, and counting

No iPad

No TV

No computer

No Nintendo DS

No whatever else has a screen

That's what my kids have done without for 5 days now.

I expected tears and drama from our 10 year old son, who latest love in Minecraft.  But no!

From my daughter, aged 4, her afternoon movie watching has disappeared (this is also when she usually ends up having a 45 minute nap), so keeping her going on activities and being stimulated has taken some extra work.  She's spent more than a few minutes wandering around a little lost.  But she's getting there.

Screens weren't taken away as a punishment but to get them back to thinking about what they wanted to do, not taking the easty option. Playing, building, drawing, reading, writing (my son has started writing his own mini-books!), building a tent in the garden, playing board games. We threw in an extra playdate, an extra swim, and a park visit.

But both have overall done great, especially my son.

Bedtime routine has become easier.  They are more settled.  My son is less grumpy and actually responds when you say his name the first time (not the 10th!).  Even his best friend from down the street has joined him in the min-book writing activity and neither has asked to play a computer game, not even once.  The only time my son has mentioned its been hard for him without playing his favourite computer game, is when I've told him how well he's down getting on with things.

I haven't resorted to opening wine at a ridiculously early hour of the evening afternoon!

It's not going to be an ongoing thing.  We aren't going 'screenless'.  However, the Huzz and I are thinking of making one week a month, or maybe 3 days a week screenless time.  With the summer warm weather on its way, more outside time will definitely make the option easier.

Let's see how things are when screen time is given back this weekend!  Will the grumpy boy return, will I need to ask the same questions ten times over?  Let's see.

UPDATE - Screens have resumed!  Horrible!  Discussions on how long, when, where etc have all arisen again.  Last week felt such a 'lighter' more relaxed week in the house.  Less raised voices, grumpy faces and discussions.  We are without a doubt implementing a 3 days a week without screen policy here. 

easter sunday around here

What a fabulous sunny Easter weekend here in Portland.  Clear blue skies.  Sunshine.  The first use of the grill outside in the garden for dinner Saturday and Sunday evening.  Perfect.

And, the Easter Bunny did her job well.  50+ eggs very well hidden = the Huzz and I getting a little extra Sunday morning lie in whilst the kiddos searched high and low throughout the house and garden for plastic eggs filled with chocolate treats.  A few yells of "Can you help us." and a flat "No" from us encouraged them to keep searching until the final few couldn't be found (and we were struggling to remember ourselves!).  And ... ah ha.... the last one was found in the fridge!

My favorite little white wooden Easter bunnies and chicks.

Hope you had a lovely weekend filled with chocolate treats and celebrating Easter just how you like to.

dress up

Ruby loves to dress up.  Princess dresses seem to dominate.  Ballerinas.  Cowgirl.  Supergirl.  A pirate when she's playing with the boys.

I took this iPhone photo a couple of days ago when she had a friend over to play.  She has a Princess  Hippie Chic combo going on, although you can't see the long pink satin dress and Cinderalla dress-up shoes below.  I love this photo of her (even though the quality is pretty terrible!).  She's still just 4, so obviously dress-up actually begins before 5!

Wishing you a very happy weekend.  Hope you get to dress up too!

pretty in pink and grey and ruffles

Ruby went to a little friend's 4th birthday party on Sunday afternoon.

The theme was a 'Princess Dance Party' at a Portland dance studio.  Not a better theme to be had for this group of girls who are all about the pink, purple, sparkle, ballet, dresses, spinning around and pretty pretty pretty.

Hope you had a fun weekend too!

940 Saturdays!

That's the number of Saturdays that you will have with your child(ren) from the day they are born to the day they turn 18.

At the weekend, I read this article in the NY Times Style section.  Dr Harley Rotbart, author of 'No Regrets Parenting', did the calculation on the number of Saturdays (of whatever other day you choose) and the article talks briefly about this style of parenting advice - not about trying to be over efficient and do everything.  The references and recommendations I've read say the book gives practical advice on making the most of time you have with your children.  Enjoying being a parent and not making it all about 'parenting'.

But it was more the thought provoking number '940' that jumped out at me.   240 of those Saturdays are gone by the time your child turns 5 - how the years fly by.   Without evening reading the book, it really makes you look at your children and wonder where the years have gone.

Our Saturdays usually revolve around Luca's Judo lesson in the middle of the day, but we try to get in a breakfast or lunch outing somewhere, and try to avoid doing too many errands (if possible) and the kiddos always want to visit the park.

How do you spend your Saturdays?

rainy day dress

A most appropriate little girls' dress for rainy autumn days!

Dutch kids design store  Buisjes en Beugels.

this is books

This is .... Paris, London, San Francisco, New York, Texas, Washington DC, Munich, Venice, Rome, Israel, Ireland, Greece, Edinburgh, Hong Kong, Australia, Britain, United Nations, Historic Britain, the Way to the Moon.

   

      

Do you know this set of books by Miroslav Sasek?   Beautifully classic, illustrated so wonderfully and timeless in their quality.  The Czech illustrator and author Miroslav Sasek started this collection of books in 1958 with 'This is Paris'.  Filled with facts and figures, each book is a treasure in its detail and an historic account from when it was first published (although all reissued books do have up-to-date facts and figures to keep up with the times).  

The first one I bought for Luca was 'This is New York', purchased whilst I was in NY with some lovely girlfriends for a weekend.  See, even when I'm away from the kiddos, they are always on my mind! Don't you find that too?

Anyhow, a great collection to have at home, and books that we look at time and time again.

smile please

Ruby has a toy camera.

She takes a photograph.

She turns the camera around for you to see yourself in the viewer.

You will either be a Princess, Boy, Monkey or Dog !

Don't be offended if you are the dog or monkey!  Its not personal.

mama and baby rocker

Would this not be a lovely place to sit, with your new baby sleeping by your side, whilst you rocked and read a book, or just sat watching your baby (as many of us have spent hours doing!).

  

Rockid - Designed by Ontwerpduo.nl.

Found via Dutch magazine V T Wonen

welcome little boy

image via here

My sister gave birth to a boy in the early of hours this morning.

Both mum and baby are doing great.
Daddy, Mummy and big brother are delighted.

Ruby and I are looking forward to lots of cuddles when we visit this weekend.

Congratulations April.

xxxx

Schools Out (for summer)

Wish me luck !!!

No, just kidding!

Day 1

We started with a trip to the zoo today.
And a family dinner out this evening.

Great fun with my very best friend here for a few days as well.

Enjoy the weekend.

x

a boy alone in the wind and rain

Well, it was more than a gust that's for sure.

On the way home from Luca's diving class yesterday evening at 6pm, the thunder began. The sky became darker.  I told Luca to cycle on ahead (I was pushing Ruby in the buggy) and we were just 5 mins by bike from the house.  Get home I said.  Wait for me there.  He shot off on his bike.  A few minutes later the raindrops started.  Then the skies opened, the wind whipped up like nothing I have ever seen.  The trees were bent double, branches swaying and reaching down to the ground.  In seconds we were soaked to the skin.

Ruby howled.  I raced for shelter at a retirement home across the street.   Where was Luca?  Please don't let him be in the park.  Please let him be safe. My mind was spinning.... what if, what if.  Why did I say go ahead?  After a few more minutes more I saw him cycling back, like a bat out of hell.  Soaked, crying, terrified, excited.  All at once. Thankfully he hadn't cycled through the park, but on the pavement. Still, branches had fallen before him, leaves were spiraling around him.  The three of us stood together, hugging, soaked, watching, and waiting.  "It's ok.  Mama's here. It will stop soon."  Reasurring words for little minds I hoped.

The noise was unbelievable.  It felt like the movie 'War of the Worlds' when Tom Cruise is in the garden with his daughter, watching the wind and the storm.

I dialled and redialled Huzz, eventually getting a connection on the 4th or 5th try.  He had just arrived at the house and like a knight in shining armor he came to collect us.   We piled in the car, soaked, Ruby still crying.  Luca not being able to speak fast enough trying to tell all that he'd seen.

Sirens could be heard everywhere.  Traffic was at a standstill.  There must have been some serious accidents around.  Huzz had seen an almost 'cyclone' effect on the highway, with branches, leaves, rubbish, wood etc spiralling up and up.

The worst of it lasted about 20 mins max.  The rain and wind for another 30 mins or so.

This morning I've seen trees arcoss roads.  One lying across a whole street with a car underneath.  Branches snapped from enormous oaks.   And that's just whats left today.  The Police and Fire Fighters were out in force moving trees from roads shortly after it all died down yesterday evening.

I am more thankful than I can say that my boy came back to me safely.  I will never send him on ahead again, ever.

Wigwam fan

In Dusseldorf I visited Habitat for the first time in years.  It used to be one of my favourite stores in the UK and there were still plenty of things caught my eye.  But actually it was the window display with a kids wigwam that I loved.

My Luca loves to make a camp.  Usually incorporating dining chairs, duvet covers, cushions and anything else that isn't nailed to the ground! He then sits inside quite happily with his Lego guys, colouring or watching a movie contented and quiet (a rare occurence!).

For his 4th birthday party a few years back, we had a kind of cowboys and indians theme and made a last minute wigwam around a tree in our garden with old cream curtains and picnic blankets.  The boys loved it.  They all sat outside with hot dogs, popcorn and a pretend campfire quite happily on a December afternoon.

I've never actually got around to buying a wigwam, but I think it would be great fun to have in the bedroom for a child and to play outside in the garden.

These are a few of my favourites.

 

Graham and Green

Habitat

 

Kidz Supplies / Not on the Highstreet dot com

If you're a little bit on the creative side, how about making one yourself?  These two sites have great instructions and photos to help you along.

Sew Mama Sew / Cherry Menlove Designs

But if you haven't got space to erect a tent, how about this very sweet mini-wigwam and 10 figures to play with - definitely on my wish list for Ruby.

Daffodille / Amazon and lots of other sites too.

Sugar and spice...

Photograph c/o cherishcupcake

and everything nice.  Isn't that what little girls are made of?  Or should smell of?

Well, not in my house.  My Ruby is just gorgeous, but with a lust for olives, silver skin mini pickled onions (she has devoured 15 this lunchtime!), sardines, baked beans, spicy tortilla chips and red peppers (stolen from mine and Huzz's chilli con carne) her breath is not the sweetest, and her nappies are far from nice!   Try her with any kind of potato or pasta (without a spicy sauce) and a straight 'No' comes at you.  So different from Luca, whom was often referred to a 'potato boy' owing to his enormous appetite for them as a small boy!

For now, at least, my little girl is smelling of all things spicy and the strong.  Any penchant for strong flavours from your children?

To Infinity and Beyond

We are so looking forward to the release of Toy Story 3 this summer.  It'll be great to see the return of Woody, Buzz, Mr Potato Head, Zurg, Jessie, Slinky, Ham and of course the little aliens again.

Toy Story and Toy Story 2 were Luca's favourite films from about 3 to 5 years old.  We are on our 2nd DVD as the first just about gave up through too much use and abuse!  He absolutely loved the characters, in particular Buzz Lightyear.  We'd know exactly where he was as "To Infinity and Beyond" could be heard loud and clear.  Springing through the air onto his bed, at the swimming pool, on the trampoline, jumping naked between two beds in a San Francisco hotel room (a great little movie clip I can tell ya!).  Yep, he had the full Buzz costume too which he wore to death.  A great costume for his first Halloween, excitedly running up and down the street with the world's supply of candy in his hands .  It is so worn through now, but one of those things I just can't throw out as it has so many great memories.

We have such a great collection of the toys.  Some were brand new like Woody and Buzz and Zurg (the first toys Luca actually asked to have), but others were picked up at a Goodwill store in the US for a couple of dollars each - Rex the dinosaur, Jessie the cowgirl, and Mr Potato head with a whole load of accessories (how could anyone give these away?).  We also have a bucket of soldiers and a barrel of monkeys that link together.  Our little aliens were found via ebay.  You could say we are fans!

We visited Walt Disney World a couple of years back and stayed at the 'All Star Movies' hotel.  Luca was overwhelmed before we'd even set foot in the Magic Kingdom.   In amongst the hotel accommodation are the most enormous statues of Toy Story characters - as tall as the 3 storey hotel.  For a 5 year old Buzz crazy boy, this was heaven.  Actually, for us adults it was pretty fantastic too.  Here's a few of our photos.

Now I see there are a whole range of new toy characters lined up for Toy Story 3.  Ken is there as a little love interest for Barbie, a hedgehog named Mr Pricklepants, Trixie the Triceratops, a cuddly unicorn named Buttercup and a cuddly bear and Dolly.   I can see more toys will be making their way into our toybox this summer. 

I have no doubt Toy Story 3 will be a huge hit in our house.  Maybe even Ruby will take an interest and all the toys will come out of their storage box for the 2nd time round.  I'm pretty sure these toys will never be left behind or passed on - they are with us for life.

Do you or your children have a favourite children's movie? 

Chicks

I'm not talking about the cute fluffy kind, or chocolate easter ones either.  Oh no, these are the grown-up kind.

This is a conversation with my son Luca.

It was bed time.  He was getting into PJs. I went downstairs to make warm milk with honey and a slice of toast ready for story time.   Five minutes later he is down stairs too.

Him - "Mama - why did you go to the front door before making my toast?"

Me - "I wanted to lock it.  And I also looked at something on the computer, and then I closed the curtains, and now I'm making your milk and toast.  Its busy being a mum isn't it?"

Him smiling and nodding - "When I'm a mama I'll do everything as well."

Me - "You won't ever be a mama, but you might be a papa."

Him - "Well, when I'm in love I'll do everything.  That's when I've met a Hot Chick."

Me - "Hot Chick! - Who told you about Hot Chicks?"

Him - "Papa" he says laughing.

He's 7 - what's he going to be like at 17?

I asked Huzz about this later.  He said "I told him that he'll need to find himself a Hot Chick when he's older, just like I found you!".    What could I say?  Love the men in my life.

Birth announcements

If you have children, how did you announce their arrival to the world?

• Did you / your partner make a few phone calls to your parents, best friends and then let the grapevine do the rest?
• Did you Tweet or text?
• Did you place an announcement in The Times, El Mundo, The New York Post, Le Monde, De Telegraaf et al?
• Did you buy a pack of birth announcement cards from the local card shop and eventually get round to sending them out?
• Did you spend hours designing a card yourself and chosing all the right words etc?

In the Netherlands sending out the birth announcement card (geboortekaart) is a major event and given much thought and hours pouring over card designs. There are hundreds of websites where you can choose a ready made design, add photos, text, colour etc or produce something entirely of your own making. It is expected that you'll send these out to family, friends, neighbours, colleagues within a few days of the birth, giving full details of your baby's name, d.o.b., time of birth, weight, proud family members etc. It's also a prompt for everyone to come and visit you and meet your beautitful new baby. The card will nearly always include the times you and your baby will be resting and not taking visitors (otherwise you'll be even more exhausted than you already).

In addition to the cards, a front of house window display of somekind is pretty much essential. It could simply be a string of bunting across the window with meisje (girl) or jongen (boy) printed on. Or a more elaborate huge stork looking like its crash landed in the window! I once saw an inflatible baby around 4 meters tall in the front garden of a new arrival. Maybe cute stickers of babies crawling across the window, or a personalised flag flying from your flag pole with your baby's name on (many houses have flag poles for proudly displaying the Netherlands flag on the Queens birthday etc).

Everyone has seen your growing bump for the past 9 months (or there abouts) and now they'll know your baby has arrived and will want to come and share your enjoyment of your precious little one.

Both of our kiddos birth announcements (both born in the Netherlands) were home made. For Luca we had all the time in the world to prepare. We made each letter of his name from autumn leaves collected at the park, then photographed each one from above, half hanging from a ladder (Huzz not me, I was 8 months gone and had no balance whatsoever). The final photographs were mounted on card. They were a work of art. We had also prepared one for a girl (we didn't know the sex) which was even more time consuming - Isabella - twice as long a Luca, but never used of course.

For Ruby, we came up with various designs, but all for the name India.  Yes, until 2 weeks before her birth, we had planned for India, and then did a last minute switch around of names.  We were so much more busy 2nd time around (no reflection on her importance to us), and the cards didn't get finished until a week after Miss Ruby's arrival. This time we chose a beautiful photograph of her on the day she was born, and in big red letters printed Ruby next to it.

Our window displays were kind of tame compared to some - a banner on our front door for Luca, made with the same leaf lettering as the cards, and for Ruby, each letter of her name printed in red on an A4 sheet, clipped with little pink and white pegs to a ribbon in the front window.

When I was born, my parents sent out cards, embossed with gold lettering to all the family and friends. A bit fancy eh?

What about you?  How did you tell the world that your precious little baby had now arrived?

The good, the bad and the cuddly

My kiddos are Luca 7 (smart, loud, cheeky, funny) and Ruby 17 months (oh so cute and adorable).   These kiddos make my life sooo good, as does my super Huzz (missing him so much this week - he's in Palm Springs, California - its been raining apparently (makes me feel a litle better with these minus temperatures and snowflakes coming down again!).

Yesterday I picked up a new toy for each of them - the kiddos that is, not the Huzz (his toys, ie camera lenses, are way more expensive and not something I just 'pick up').

There was a Nijntje (Miffy to many, but Nijntje in dutch which is short for konijntje meaning rabbit) for Ruby.  Ruby has taken quite a liking to Nijntje and we are getting a little collection of things going.  I found this cute towelling one for her and she has been hugging and kissing it ever since!

Next week it will be Carnaval time here and there will be a parade at school on Friday and in the town at the weekend.  Luca wants to be Darth Vader, so I got him a Darth Vader mask and cape.  I now need to find a red lightsaber (apparently the blue and green ones he already has are not Darth Vader's (what do I know?).  He is Star Wars obsessed.  A Jedi in training.  But...

Yesterday evening, as I put him to bed, he picked up his white cuddly lamb and snugged under the duvet with it, before blowing me kisses.

My little boy has not quite gone over to the dark side!!

May the Force be with you today!