The Santa bubble for my son has burst! At 11 he no longer believes. He has questioned and doubted for a couple of years, maybe longer, but possibly didn't want to disbelieve incase the gifts stopped coming! In the past he has asked "Is Santa real?". We've responded with "What do you think?".
But now we've had the chat. Us honestly answering his rhetorical question "It's you, isn't it?"
"So it is you that eats the cookies and carrots and drinks the milk!" Surprise!!!
We talked about how much we loved building the magic and fantasy of Santa flying the world over delivering presents to children from his enormous sack on his magnificent sleigh. How he had loved to hear the stories of Christmas elves and reindeers with red noses, of Santa's belly that shook like a bowl full of jelly! The letters he had sent to the North Pole. The sleigh bells he was so sure he could hear on Christmas Eve. How we all loved the excitement and imagination that goes with believing in Santa. Putting your hopes and wishes in someone you want to believe in.
He wasn't upset. He didn't ask why we had 'lied' to him or tricked him. He had come to his own conclusion over time and possibly feels quite 'grown up' being in on the secret of Santa now. It's a good time to 'come clean' as I didn't want him to get in an embarrasing situation with friends who may also be in the know.
"So it is you that eats the cookies and carrots and drinks the milk!" Surprise!!!
We talked about how much we loved building the magic and fantasy of Santa flying the world over delivering presents to children from his enormous sack on his magnificent sleigh. How he had loved to hear the stories of Christmas elves and reindeers with red noses, of Santa's belly that shook like a bowl full of jelly! The letters he had sent to the North Pole. The sleigh bells he was so sure he could hear on Christmas Eve. How we all loved the excitement and imagination that goes with believing in Santa. Putting your hopes and wishes in someone you want to believe in.
I could feel a little tear in my eyes as we talked to each other about the magic and delight of the past years at Christmas for him. How he too would do the same for his children one day, just like our parents had done for us. My father had climbed up in to our attic one Christmas and jingled the bells gently so that we would quickly snuggle in bed and not be awake when Santa arrived - he was obviously close by! That we would continue will all the traditions we have built as a family around Christmas time. Nothing would change.
He wasn't upset. He didn't ask why we had 'lied' to him or tricked him. He had come to his own conclusion over time and possibly feels quite 'grown up' being in on the secret of Santa now. It's a good time to 'come clean' as I didn't want him to get in an embarrasing situation with friends who may also be in the know.
He was reassured that he would still receive his stash of goodies but that he'd now know that mum and dad are really those elves doing the hours of browsing, shopping, spending and wrapping and we loved to do it for him and his sister.
And then we also gave a stern "Do not tell your 5 year old sister" warning!
H A P P Y H O L I D A Y S
What a lovely post....I can so relate!!
ReplyDeleteMy 8 year old son is completely into believing in Father Christmas....he hears bells, he plans what we will leave out on Christmas Eve for him to eat...we have endless conversations about him, even in the summer months LOL!!
He's my curious child but never in all the questioning has he shown the slightest suspicion. I did wonder last Christmas if it would be the last Christmas that he would believe....but nothing has changed! His class is mostly eldest children so I wonder if that's why no older siblings have ruined the magic!!
My 12 daughter never asked me or said anything, I think it was a gradual realisation for her....and, as is her way, she never commented. And I know she won't tell her brother.
My son loves the whole idea of the North Pole, the elves, Santa's present making factory so much,,,,that I do already feel sad for when that time will pass.
I love the sound of the discussion you had with your son, that sounds like a wonderful way to explain it all.
"Polar Express" is a lovely film to watch I think, it captures the concept of the magic Christmas and believing in it so well.
Merry Christmas! X
This is so nice to read. I admit that there are times when I do feel like I'm lying to my kids, and it makes me a little uncomfortable. I was also worried about how they would feel when they eventually find out. I know I just need to watch Miracle on 34th Street and remind myself of how beautiful it is that kids can believe so fully in magic. My 4 and 7-year-olds are firm believers, and hopefully they have a few more years in them. Thanks for sharing this!
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